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The Case of A Misplaced Identity

Updated: Feb 27, 2022

There I was with a week full of deadlines, a heavy heart overwhelmed by my overbearing thoughts, and now, a handful of problems not to mention this new stabbing sharp pain slicing its way through my lower abdomen. It was time to face the truth...this whole thing was a recipe for disaster. What should I do? Should I rest and pray this pain goes away by some miracle? Or should I force my way through the stabbing sensation just so I can meet all my weekly deadlines? Sure my health is important, but I needed to get things done. After all, to me this was not just work. This was my calling, my degree, my life. It was the future lives I need to help find their way to Christ. It was for my future generations. So, now with this searing pain in my lower abdomen- that by the way I have no time for- how was I supposed to get all of these things done? And that's when the questions started to come one after another. God...Why? Why this? Why me? Why now? Am I not doing what you called me to do?

Isn't it funny that we always question God first before we even question ourselves. That is pride at its finest.

We question if God's hand is really in our lives. If He meant what He said. If our true identity is truly what He says it is. Yet, if we take one look in the mirror, maybe we will see that it is us who should be the subject of our own interrogation. We lack trust in God. Perhaps we are listening to the lies of the enemy instead of God's truth. Or maybe we are putting our identity in something other than the God we serve. As I peeled back the layers of my current situation, God started to reveal what the real problem was. The problem was not me taking time off. It was actually much more deeper than that. My problem was an identity misplacement. The reason I felt so inadequate at the thought of taking time off to resolve my health complications was because I put my identity in the things I do. Those things gave me a name. They gave me a reason to feel purposeful, important, and valued. Thus, as things started take a turn for the unexpected and contradict my weekly expectations... I panicked.